We can't help but offer this pathetic excuse for a human being up for your amusement and pity, perhaps. Ol' Morty asks the folks at Slashdot what games he should play, if he had to pick and choose. See ol' Morty, at the ripe old age of 44, is getting old and arthritic... (from too much gaming?)
Morty, though we realize that's not your real name, allow us to bestow upon you 7 pearls of wisdom...
- Number 1 - 44 is NOT old unless you allow yourself to feel old.
- Number 2 - Start moving larger muscle groups beyond just the ten digits on your hands.
- Number 3 - GET A LIFE
- Number 4 - Realize that you are only as old as you feel.
- Number 5 - When members of the HH crew turn 44, they'll drop and give you 20 plank-straight push-ups just to show you what a pathetic load you are.
- Number 6 - Play fewer video games and become a more rounded individual.
- Number 7 - GET A LIFE