Smart Mattress With Lover Detection System Will Alert You Of Illicit Shagging, Rat Out Cheaters

Do you worry that your significant other is having mid-day romps in your bedroom while you're stuck at work banging out TPS reports? There's an app for that, and a smart mattress with built-in sensors to detect when between-the-sheet activities are taking place, with or without your participation. It's part of what a mattress company in Spain is calling its "lover detection system."

Folks, you can't make this stuff up. Or maybe you can. We have to seriously question whether or not the so-called Smarttress from Durmet is real thing or an attempt at a viral marketing stunt. By all accounts, it certainly looks real—Durmet has an informative website, an app in the Google Store and one pending for iOS devices, and a video warning of the "global infidelity crisis" that could come knocking on your door at any moment.

Durmet Mattress Springs

Durmet's playing on the paranoia of scorned lovers with trust issues, but there's real technology employed here. There are two dozen ultrasonic sensors embedded in the springs of the mattress. These tell-all sensors detect the speed and intensity of motion, how long the mattress has been active, and the history of encounters.

That data is used to create a 3D map in real time, which you can view on your mobile device. If your loving partner decides to take a lover while you're away from home, you'll get an alert the moment it happens, along with ongoing updates to torture yourself with. Best case scenario? Your dog decided your bed was a better place than the couch to roll around like a lunatic. Oh wait, you don't have a dog!

The underlying technology here is actually pretty interesting. If you remove the infidelity angle, something like this might be able to work in conjunction with sleep apps to detect the level of rest you're getting. And maybe Durmet will go in that direction, but from a marketing standpoint, you can draw a lot more eyeballs by saying, "If your partner isn't faithful, at least your mattress is."