Microsoft's Major Nelson Offers Doctor's Note For Health Treatment with Xbox One

Tremendous news, everyone: If you’d rather play your new Xbox One all day long than go to work or school on when the new console debuts on Friday, Microsoft’s Major Nelson wrote a doctor’s excuse for you. (He’s not technically a doctor, but the rank of “major” must lend some credibility, don’t you think?)

Here it is in full:

Xbox One Major Nelson doctor note

As you can see, you’ve been stricken with the Zombie Flu--or if you like, Racecar Virus, Roman Rage, Golfer’s Elbow (you get the picture)--that can only be cured by a massive dose of Xbox One, and employers should beware that if work were to interrupt the treatment, Major Nelson will have to double the dose. For the ill, take caution that you don’t develop a case of swollen ego, which sounds terribly painful--for everyone else.

You can save the note as a PDF or email it directly to your employer, who presumably has a great sense of humor. (If your employer was really cool, he’d already have a pre-release Xbox One and would have written a comprehensive review of it.)

The note also works on teachers, significant others, parents, roommates, and other people you’ll be ignoring all weekend.