Microsoft Launches 'Escape From XP' Online Game To Celebrate The Retirement Of A Legend
“In the long, long ago, Windows XP rose like a Phoenix from the ashes of Windows 2000,” reads the introduction to the game. “With their community thrown into turmoil, most developers fled ages ago...one still remains. One man. One hero, still supporting IE6 on XP.” But now, the hero must escape from XP once and for all.

As a sea of Recycle Bins, IE logos, and old-looking PCs converge upon our hero, he must blast his way out using a machine and a “battery blaster”. If he gets overwhelmed and succombs to the mob, a chopper will come and whisk him away.

The 8-bit music is perfect, and the game is actually pretty fun. (Hilariously, ironically, the game actually crashed my browser whenever I died.)
Pro tip: Watch out for Clippy! And for crying out loud, if you haven’t already, upgrade from Windows XP.