Now here's a sport we can all enjoy: Speedcabling. Contestants are given a rat's nest of six tangled ethernet cables and are timed as they try to unravel them. The very first speedcabling event was held in an art gallery in Los Angeles. Matthew Howell is my new hero. Very Zen in his technique.
"The finals were brutal - 12 ethernet cords, some as long as 25 feet, all knotted into a nasty bundle," said eventual winner [Matthew] Howell.
Explaining his detangling technique, he said: "Each cable is its own rabbit hole. So before going down one of those cable paths, up and around, weaving in and out, you have to pull it apart. You have to pull the pieces out, and really call on the element of air."
And to get that "air," Howell drew on some previous work experience - kneading pizza dough.
Any self-respecting PC gamer would love a shot at this event. The Olympics are cluttered with weird events nobody care about anyway. Let's get rid of synchronized swimming or something and make speedcabling an Olympic event. Maybe we could think up a few more. I bet I can get crummy Hewlett-Packard printer drivers to work faster than anybody. I better start training.