Razer Venom Keeps Gamers Going For 4 Days Without Food Or Water

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News Posted: Thu, Apr 1 2010 2:12 PM
Rejoice! Celebrate! Take a day off of work just to enjoy your 5-packwhen it arrives! Razer, a company that has made itself famous byproducing gamer-approved input devices (mice and keyboards, mostly),just introduced something that will maybe...no, definitely...change theway gamers game, forever. And ever.

The product is called Venom, and it's nothing like what you think. It'sdesigned to allow gamers to play all night long, always able to pushthrough for "one more round." It's "scientifically proven to boost yoursenses and take down any signs of fatigue," allowing gamers to clock "upto over 100 hours of gaming in one sitting." It's a new record justwaiting to happen, and you can be the one to set it.




With Venom, there's no need for sleep or food. Just plug in more Venom,and you're good to go for another 3-4 days. It's the grocery store'sworst nightmare, but it'll keep you connected to Left 4 Dead 2 forungodly amounts of time. With Razer Venom in your veins, our serumadditiveslike oxymialterxin and doctixilin keep your body nourished to keep youas fit as a fiddle – the food of champions. RazerVenom comes in an intravenous solution bag for personal consumption ora nebulizer which diffuses the Venom solution into a green mist to beinhaled – perfect for a week long LAN party with your clan mates.



Starter packs can be purchased now for $39.99 in the U.S. (or justunder 40 Euros elsewhere), and while they're illegal in 38 states,Razer has worked out a deal with UPS that allows them to bedrop-shipped to anywhere. Still not convinced it's for you? Don'tthink. Just order. And then laugh, a lot.
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So is this like food or is it a drink... I didn't really get what this is...

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3vi1 replied on Thu, Apr 1 2010 2:30 PM

Will it also make you strong enough to break Batman's back?

What part of "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" don't you understand?

++++++++++++[>++++>+++++++++>+++>+<<<<-]>+++.>++++++++++.-------------.+++.>---.>--.

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3vi1 replied on Thu, Apr 1 2010 2:31 PM

Neither - you take it with an IV. Look at first pic.

What part of "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" don't you understand?

++++++++++++[>++++>+++++++++>+++>+<<<<-]>+++.>++++++++++.-------------.+++.>---.>--.

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O that picture just loaded up right now... Stupid slow AT&T connection!

Hehe drugs! Lol :P

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NOT shown in the picture is the other bag - the one with the gold-plated catheter.

 SPAM-posters beware! ®

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Good One 1st :P

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He's Green, He's slimy and he's Staring at me Ray!

So, Ray...When someone askes you if you are a God...You say YES!!!

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RyuGTX replied on Thu, Apr 1 2010 3:04 PM

Well thought out.

If you think you can’t do something, you’ll never be able to do it. No matter how easy it is.
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AKwyn replied on Thu, Apr 1 2010 3:10 PM

Well played.

I see the dark humor in this, very unethical but worth it if you want to be the best.

 

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AKwyn replied on Thu, Apr 1 2010 3:11 PM

And by best I mean lying there looking dead on the floor.

(sorry for the double post, edit button was not working at all.)

 

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....I'm pretty sure this is an april fools joke...

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RyuGTX replied on Thu, Apr 1 2010 3:51 PM

NoobfromNS:

....I'm pretty sure this is an april fools joke...

No. It is real. Go to their site and you can buy it. Hit the "buy now" button. Wink

http://www.razerzone.com/venom/

If you think you can’t do something, you’ll never be able to do it. No matter how easy it is.
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Starter packs can be purchased now for $39.99 in the U.S. (or justunder 40 Euros elsewhere), and while they're illegal in 38 states,Razer has worked out a deal with UPS that allows them to bedrop-shipped to anywhere. Still not convinced it's for you? Don'tthink. Just order. And then laugh, a lot.

April Fools guys. 

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Could it be better than RedBull? It looks radioactive to me.

The advertising its funny and I think the same think... April Fools.

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sp12 replied on Thu, Apr 1 2010 4:07 PM

XD I thought this was pretty funny.

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Well to make sure... HH wanna buy one and see if they deliver? :D

I say April fools too... it can't be found on their site unless linked too (unless its there and i can't find it...)

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Zestia replied on Thu, Apr 1 2010 5:08 PM

"5 various needle sizes for various vein sizes" and some of you are still wondering if this is an April fool's joke? ; - ))

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I read that part too and was like really? you need different needles for that... but im not expert so i was just like ok then... :)

Hey you could be taking bigger doses at a time with a bigger needle :P lol

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Aw sweet! Great for LANing the whole weekend! LOL Thanks Razer!

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Dave_HH replied on Thu, Apr 1 2010 6:55 PM

OK, everybody hit the digg button at the bottom of the story here... ready... go! :)

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Done! lol, Moe wanna buy it and test it for us to see how long you can last Wink LMFAO!

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Dave_HH replied on Thu, Apr 1 2010 7:16 PM

Dude, I'm so gonna jack into the Matrix and juice up with this when I get my first shipment! I'll shoot video for all to see!

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LOL looking forward to that video! You better put it up! :P lol

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I have seen it all now LOL!!!! Get all jacked up on venom, sounds nice but I am leery of what the side effects are. If it gets FDA approval that would put my mind at ease.

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I knew that this was a sham when the article mentioned injecting this venom straight into your veins through a bag. I wonder what it feels like having the equivalent of liquid sugar injected into your bloodstream. 

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Tobi-Saru replied on Thu, Apr 1 2010 11:59 PM

Got my order in, can't wait for my shipment! Finally gonna be able to do that 200 hour marathon session of FF13 I've been wanting to do!

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rapid1 replied on Fri, Apr 2 2010 4:06 AM

"The Razer Venom's just utterly amazing! I was able to power-level my toon for 52 hours straight and didn't lose my focus from my MMO game even when midway through my gaming session an alien mothership from the planet Tribo landed in my yard and attempted to abduct me for an experiment! Screw that! Game on!!!"

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rapid1 replied on Fri, Apr 2 2010 4:06 AM

"Hello, ladies, look at your man, and now back to me. Now back at your man, and now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he starts using Venom, he could look like he hasn’t slept in 130 hours, just like me.

Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat sailing to Kalimdor. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have a chest filled with beta codes to Starcraft 2 you know that game you love. Look at it again, the codes are now for the final product...I'm on a spectral tiger, that’s my mount in WOW. I’m a level 99 Paladin. I rock this joint. Like a level 30 hurricane."

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BUYER BEWARE Like all new substances it has side effects which should have been listed in the fine print somewhere, and I wish I had known about them before I purchased this stuff and tried it.

Because it made my thing turn fluorescent GREEN and glow in the dark , which scarred off my girlfriend . She saw it...screamed and ran back home to her mothers house.

So now I have nothing left to do except gaming for extended hours!

( I guess I could release my inflatable girfriend from the closet )

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rapid1:

"Hello, ladies, look at your man, and now back to me. Now back at your man, and now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he starts using Venom, he could look like he hasn’t slept in 130 hours, just like me.

Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat sailing to Kalimdor. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have a chest filled with beta codes to Starcraft 2 you know that game you love. Look at it again, the codes are now for the final product...I'm on a spectral tiger, that’s my mount in WOW. I’m a level 99 Paladin. I rock this joint. Like a level 30 hurricane."

I loved the Old Spice reference. 

 

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Marius Malek:

rapid1:

"Hello, ladies, look at your man, and now back to me. Now back at your man, and now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he starts using Venom, he could look like he hasn’t slept in 130 hours, just like me.

Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat sailing to Kalimdor. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have a chest filled with beta codes to Starcraft 2 you know that game you love. Look at it again, the codes are now for the final product...I'm on a spectral tiger, that’s my mount in WOW. I’m a level 99 Paladin. I rock this joint. Like a level 30 hurricane."

I loved the Old Spice reference. 

 

I would love to get one of those sc2 codes Wink Stick out tongue lol

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lol thats just crazy but want to try it.

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Xolso replied on Thu, Apr 8 2010 1:31 AM

Is this real? I'm unsure if this is a joke or not.

 

If it is, wow.

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Xolso:

Is this real? I'm unsure if this is a joke or not.

 

If it is, wow.

It was an April Fools joke lol

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