Seriously, Steve Jobs is Not Dead

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News Posted: Thu, Aug 28 2008 11:21 AM

If you had read a Bloomberg story that floated across the wires at 4:37 PM yesterday, your heart might have stopped, and you might have rushed to sell your Apple stock.  But no, it was all a mistake, and quickly retracted.

The lengthy file contains not only a preliminary obituary for the
iconic Apple chief, but also a list of suggested contacts for a more
extensive story--Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak, Oracle CEO Larry
Ellison, and early Apple evangelist Guy Kawasaki, among others.



The summary of Jobs' accomplishments, per the obituary, is that he
"helped make personal computers as easy to use as telephones, changed
the way animated films are made, persuaded consumers to tune into
digital music, and refashioned the mobile phone."



It's not out of the ordinary at all that Bloomberg would have this
written; all major news outlets have notable persons' obituaries
prepared in advance so that only minor changes need be made at the
actual time of death. That way, the news can be reported almost
immediately and can be updated with further detail.

That's true, and these are usually written for older celebrities.  Notable exception: last year, when it was revealed that Britney Spears' obit was already penned by AP (during the height of her meltdowns).

However, this does remind people of Jobs's gaunt appearance at WWDC (above), and his past battle with pancreatic cancer.  On the other hand, it gave Jobs an opportunity to read his own obituary, something most never get a chance to do.




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3vi1 replied on Thu, Aug 28 2008 11:59 AM

I don't think Steve Jobs will ever die.

Unless Xerox PARC does it first.

 

Tomorrow's story:  Steve Jobs dies of heart attack after seeing own obituary.

What part of "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" don't you understand?

++++++++++++[>++++>+++++++++>+++>+<<<<-]>+++.>++++++++++.-------------.+++.>---.>--.

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And then there is THIS story. 

 SPAM-posters beware! ®

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Iria replied on Thu, Aug 28 2008 5:51 PM

And does that really surprise you? Many celebs, whether Steve Jobs or someone else, feel no compunction about parking in handicapped spaces. In fact, based on what I see, many non-celebs feel the same way :-(

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3vi1 replied on Thu, Aug 28 2008 6:58 PM
lol

What part of "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" don't you understand?

++++++++++++[>++++>+++++++++>+++>+<<<<-]>+++.>++++++++++.-------------.+++.>---.>--.

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Didn't even know he was rumored to be dead.

 

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warlord replied on Thu, Aug 28 2008 7:55 PM

Isn't the internet fun

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