Rejoice! Celebrate! Take a day off of work just to enjoy your 5-pack
when it arrives! Razer
, a company that has made itself famous by
producing gamer-approved input devices (mice
and keyboards, mostly),
just introduced something that will maybe...no, definitely...change the
way gamers game, forever. And ever.
The product is called Venom, and it's nothing like what you think. It's
designed to allow gamers to play all night long, always able to push
through for "one more round." It's "scientifically proven to boost your
senses and take down any signs of fatigue," allowing gamers to clock "up
to over 100 hours of gaming in one sitting." It's a new record just
waiting to happen, and you can be the one to set it.
With Venom, there's no need for sleep or food. Just plug in more Venom,
and you're good to go for another 3-4 days. It's the grocery store's
worst nightmare, but it'll keep you connected to Left 4 Dead 2 for
ungodly amounts of time. With Razer Venom in your veins, our serum
like oxymialterxin and doctixilin keep your body nourished to keep you
as fit as a fiddle – the food of champions. Razer
Venom comes in an intravenous solution bag for personal consumption or
a nebulizer which diffuses the Venom solution into a green mist to be
inhaled – perfect for a week long LAN party with your clan mates.
Starter packs can be purchased now for $39.99 in the U.S. (or just
under 40 Euros elsewhere), and while they're illegal in 38 states,
Razer has worked out a deal with UPS that allows them to be
drop-shipped to anywhere. Still not convinced it's for you? Don't
think. Just order. And then laugh, a lot.