Apple Claims Ridiculously High 99% iPhone Satisfaction Rate, Knocks Androids In New Ads

We all know that Apple thinks very highly of itself. CEO Tim Cook often uses flowery language to describe his company and its commitment to delivering products that are designed to amaze its customers. Through its evangelists like Craig Federighi (software) and Jony Ive (hardware), Apple proudly proclaims that no other company can deliver, cohesive, all-around "excellent" products like it can because it controls all aspects of hardware and software.

To see what I mean, take look at this newest ad from Apple, which plays up this synergy between hardware and software:

Apple interestingly ends the ad with the tagline “If it’s not an iPhone, it’s not an iPhone,” which is clearly a dig at Android devices which more often than not feature hardware that is designed by one company (i.e. Samsung, HTC, LG) and software that is provided by Google. This disparity is somewhat blunted with Google’s Nexus devices, but devices like the Nexus 6 are still build by third-parties (in this case, Motorola).

But for most, this “disconnect” between hardware and software is not a hindrance; it’s an actual benefit. Instead of the homogeny that you see with Apple smartphones and tablets, there is actually a thriving and incredibly diverse universe of Android devices out there catering to nearly every price point and design taste.

If the jab at Android hardware/software inconsistencies wasn’t bad enough, the next ad is probably an even tougher pill to swallow:

The ad, entitled “Loved”, waxes poetic about how much people adore their iPhones, stating that "99 percent of people who have an iPhone love their iPhone.” We’re not exactly sure how Apple is able to qualify that statement, but a 99 percent customer satisfaction rating is downright unheard of — let alone one that claims that those 99 percent absolutely love the product in question.

If anything, the ads show that the Reality Distortion Field is alive in well in Cupertino.