Microsoft Launches 'Escape From XP' Online Game To Celebrate The Retirement Of A Legend

You have to give Microsoft credit for having a sense of humor. Now that the company has ceased support for its venerable but aged Windows XP, users need to upgrade or become (even more) vulnerable. As a nod to those who no doubt will hang on to that old OS come hell or high water, Microsoft created a humorous game called “Escape From XP”.

“In the long, long ago, Windows XP rose like a Phoenix from the ashes of Windows 2000,” reads the introduction to the game. “With their community thrown into turmoil, most developers fled ages ago...one still remains. One man. One hero, still supporting IE6 on XP.” But now, the hero must escape from XP once and for all.

Escape From XP

As a sea of Recycle Bins, IE logos, and old-looking PCs converge upon our hero, he must blast his way out using a machine and a “battery blaster”. If he gets overwhelmed and succombs to the mob, a chopper will come and whisk him away.

Escape From XP

The 8-bit music is perfect, and the game is actually pretty fun. (Hilariously, ironically, the game actually crashed my browser whenever I died.)

Pro tip: Watch out for Clippy! And for crying out loud, if you haven’t already, upgrade from Windows XP.